I interrupt this Euro Recap Special to talk about my run yesterday.

If you remember, a couple of months ago I ran a familiar route in my neighborhood only to land in the Emergency Room after. Somewhere along the way, I started swelling in my lips and ears and saw hives creepy crawl up from my toes to the rest of my body covering me completely. It was one of the scariest days of my life.

Since then, I haven’t run in my neighborhood for fear of have a relapse. I’m now forced to carry an Epi-pen in the event something like that happens again so I’m at least better prepared, but the anxiety of even getting near the area of when it started has kept me away.

Until yesterday.

I woke up wanting to run and knew I could head to my gym and get some treadmill miles or go along the canal where I usually run with my running group. Or I could run around my neighborhood. With my mom visiting, I have this luxury of options.

I decided to forego having to travel by car anywhere and run a route I’ve done nearby. I knew I didn’t want to tempt fate and do the exact route of the allergy scare, but I wanted to at least go near it for some reason–kinda just to see.

So off I went. Started out along the same path and when it came time to go down the bike path where I swear was the cause of my allergy attack, I bypassed it and went down a main street instead.

Once I had gone completely around it, around mile 2, I reached the end of the “tunnel” where I would’ve come out from had I gone down that path. This was when I first started to feel the tingling sensation in my fingers. The first sign of something wrong.

I felt perfectly fine. I stopped and took this ^ picture and thought about that day and how a simple run became a life changing experience. It’s never completely out of my mind. When I run, for a split second I wonder if it’ll happen again. I push the thought back in my brain and refocus but it’s always there. That little speck of anxiety and fear hanging out in the deep, dark corners of my head.

I went back to running and did a quick body feel and no welts or hives in sight.

I finished the easy 4 mile run and was relieved that it had been an eventless journey. I was prepared in case something had happened, running with my phone (which I usually never do) and with my Epi-pen (which I mostly always do) in my SPI belt.

It’s going to be a while before I can run without wondering if something might happen. I think it’s normal and just a part of having gone through something traumatic. Especially since doctors found no real culprit to the cause of my attack. I’m pretty certain it was something in that tunnel. A bug I ate, or a bug that bit me (I didn’t feel any), a tree, a flower, a bush, something….I have no idea.

It’s the not knowing that’s so unnerving.

–Have you had something scary happen to you while on a run?

–Do you ever run with some kind of fear?

Have a good weekend everyone! I’ll be back to tell you all about Italy 🙂